Lifestyle tips to boost Libido
Has your libido been a little lackluster lately? Or maybe you haven’t been ‘in the mood’ for a while now?
The stresses of life, responsibilities, and prescriptions like hormonal birth control can really put a damper on your libido. Lots of things get in the way, making sex and pleasure seem low on the list of priorities.
But after a while, this can cause resentment and friction in your intimate relationship while also leaving you feeling totally disconnected from your sexuality.
Pleasure and sex are important parts of your life so I invite you to begin the reconnection process with five simple practices.
Self-Pleasure
Masturbation is still treated as taboo in our culture, but it’s vital for re-energizing a low libido because it increases the physical and emotional connection to ourselves. This, in turn, increases overall confidence and allows us to feel more comfortable in our bodies. When we learn exactly what our body needs to feel pleasure, we’re able to fully express our needs to a partner and get those needs met. It can be very rewarding to experiment with different tools and types of self-pleasure, paying attention to what feels best for you. If you don’t know where to start, the book Crystal Healing & Sacred Pleasure by Vanessa Cuccia and her line of Chakrubs ‘toys’ are a beautiful place to start.
Quality Sleep
Most people don’t get enough sleep and women in particular need the most, on average 8-10 hours per night. Rest is essential for maintaining libido. A chronically stressed body that’s often pushed to its energy limits will not want to participate in sexy behavior. Make your bedroom a sanctuary, give yourself a bedtime, and rack up the zzz’s. Things that help include:
An excellent mattress
Beautiful, comfortable bedding
Removing TVs and electronics from the bedroom
Lights that have a dimmer option or red lights
Diffusing essential oils like lavender for sleep or ylang ylang and neroli for aphrodisiacs
Managing Stress
Stress is a major libido-killer– psychologically, physically, and emotionally. Some natural ways to mitigate the effects of stress include mindfulness meditation, masturbation, gentle movement, grounding, and journaling– in other words, taking some time for yourself.
In addition to stress management, take steps to combat stress in your body by working on balancing your hormones, decreasing inflammation, and improving your gut health, (all of which you can find in the Food as Medicine Cabinet in get synced!). A healthy, balanced body is the best defense against the stress in life that can’t be eliminated. The reduction or elimination of physical stress will help you become physically capable of normal levels of desire.
Self-Love and Appreciation
How familiar are you with your own body? In a 2016 British survey, 60% of female participants couldn’t identify their vulvas. Learning how to understand your body and genitals can help reawaken desire. Most women will readily point out at least a few things about their bodies that they don’t like but this constant self-criticism interferes with feeling sexy. There are numerous ways you can start to practice self-love and appreciation:
Take time to smooth body lotion or oil on after a shower
Write a gratitude list focused on YOU
Choose beautiful clothes that make you feel confident
Practice positive self-talk
Create deeper connection with your body with Cyclical Pilates flows
Use a hand mirror to familiarize yourself with your genitals
Complete the Feminine Body Independence course to gain a deeper understanding of your cycle, hormones, and fertility
Practice Mindfulness During Foreplay and Sex
How often do you find your mind wandering to your unfinished work, dishes in the sink, or chores for tomorrow? This really hampers your ability to truly be ‘in the mood’ and enjoy sex. Mindfulness, particularly during foreplay, can really help you hone in on your pleasure throughout the entire experience.
Don’t say you’re not in the mood. An automatic no to sex doesn’t give you a chance to get in the mood. Instead, say “ask me again in 15 minutes,” and go into the bedroom. Take a few slow deep breaths, do a quick 5-minute meditation, or even try masturbating– imagining what you and your partner will do together and how pleasurable it will be.
Practice self-awareness– when you catch your mind wandering, bring yourself back into the present by focusing on your senses (what you can see, feel, taste, and smell).
If orgasm has been an issue, try not to fixate on that as the goal. Challenge yourself to just enjoy the feelings of pleasure and intimacy without striving for that goal of orgasm. This removes any pressure, which can be distracting.